[Papyrus]
[Spoken]
Hey, guys! Guys! Guys! You'll never guess what I found! I thought it was a rock, but it was a human!
[Sans]
Don't think they heard you.
[Doggo]
Heard what?
[Papyrus]
Would you dogs stop playing poker for one second and listen? I, the great PAPYRUS, detected that a human has entered Snowdin!
[Dogamy]
Oh, just that?
[Dogaressa]
Well, that's no big deal, is it, sweetie?
[Dogamy]
Not at all, sugar-lumps.
[Papyrus]
Then why does Undyne want us to capture the humans?
[Dogs]
UNDYNE?
[Music stops]
[Dogamy]
Come on, then! Let's find that human!
[Sung]
[Dogs]
Finding that human won't be hard, no no, not for the great royal guard, oh oh, find that human, get the goal, oh oh, get that human's human soul, oh oh ooohhh….
[Spoken]
A HUMAN! In Snowdin!
[Papyrus]
See? I told you! I found a human, and now I shall capture it!
[Sung]
I can't believe it, I found a human, when I capture it with puzzles, in the royal guard I'll be,
I'll go call Undyne, her jaw will hit the floor, she'll cry tears of joy and be so happy with me!
They won't resist my style and my charm, they'll be taken at once, this is gonna be great-
Stop right there human, listen to me-
[Dogs]
Go dogpile that human!
[Papyrus]
What the he- guys, wait!
[Spoken]
[Dogs] What?
[Papyrus]
Shouldn't I be the one-
[Doggo]
Pfft, no.
[Lesser Dog]
This is royal guard business!
[Papyrus]
I'm with the royal guard!
[Greater Dog]
You're in training!
[Dogaressa]
Sorry, Papyrus, but you did your part wonderfully~
[Dogamy]
Dearest, where'd the human go?
[Dogaressa]
I thought Doggo was watching him!
[Doggo]
I didn't see anything.
[Dogs]
FIND THE HUMAN!
[Sung]
[Dogs]
Finding that human won't be hard, no no, not for the great royal guard, oh oh…
[Spoken]
[Sans]
It's right there.
[Dogs]
Oh.
[Papyrus]
They're even waving! How did you miss that?
[Doggo]
Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to.
[Dogs]
Dogpile attempt number two! GO!
[Sung]
[Dogs]
No more games, human,
Don't run away,
We'll get you, human,
Then we get paid!
We're the greatest guardsmen ever,
Nothing gets past us,
Except for you that one time,
But let's not raise a fuss!
With our obedience training,
We'll grab you, we bet!
Hey, is that a stick I see?
HEY! HEY! HEY! Gimme a pet!
[Spoken]
[Papyrus]
Guys! Really? I thought you were better than this!
[Lesser Dog]
NOTHING IS BETTER THAN A BELLY RUB.
[Papyrus]
I thought we were gonna capture-
[Greater Dog]
Yeah! But first, belly rubs!
[Sans]
How you gonna get pet by a kid who's not there?
[Dogs]
NOT THERE? FIND THE HUMAN!
[Sung]
[Dogs]
Finding that human won't be hard, no no, not for the great royal guard, oh oh…
[Spoken]
[Papyrus]
THEY BARELY MOVED!
[Dogs]
Oh.
[Doggo]
I didn't see that coming.
[Sans]
So… get the human?
[Dogs and Papyrus]
GET THE HUMAN!
[Sans]
Okay cool have at it.
[Sung]
[Dogs]
We're the greatest guardsmen ever,
Nothing gets past us,
Except for you once again,
But let's not raise a fuss!
[Over]
[Dogs]
With our skill and fitness,
We will win the day!
Tackle them into the snow!
Then roll around and play!
Sit, stay, fetch, shake hands, roll over,
We know all the tricks!
Let's keep playing – wait, we're fighting?
Dang it, we got mixed up again!
Where'd the human run off to?
Weren't you keeping watch?
No, this snow is freakin' awesome
Can I sniff your-
[Papyrus]
Come on then, human, much more to do, I've prepared all sorts of jumbles, puzzles, traps, and you'll see-
Here on this table, ready to be microwaved, a frozen plate of my own homemade spaghetti!
If you feel hungry, go ahead and take a bite, it will distract you, and there you will want to stay!
Okay, maybe it's stuck to the table – hey, human, where are you going? Please do not run away!
[Spoken]
[Sans]
What happened to third time's the charm?
[Papyrus]
What happened to the Royal Guard helping me ou- GUYS!
[Dogs]
WHAT?
[Papyrus]
The human's gone!
[Dogs]
GONE? Find the human!
[Sung]
[Dogs]
Finding that human won't be hard, no no, not for the great royal guard, oh oh…
[Spoken]
[Papyrus]
This is why I don't work with amateurs…
[Sans]
Would you say you had a bone to pick with them?
[Papyrus]
SANS!
[Sans]
Hey, it's all in a dog-day's work.
