I can't bring myself to leave her
Breaking up would be unpleasant
'Cos it's almost her birthday
And some people might say
I only did it to avoid buying a present
I dont want her friends to hate us
And I've only just changed my Facebook status!
Screw it! Let's just stay together!
Breaking up is such a faff
I can't stand awkward goodbyes
Breaking up is such a faff
I'll just sweat it out until she dies
I can't bring myself to dump her
Though she really gets on my tits
'Cos we booked a trip to Pisa
I put it on my Visa
If I cancel I'll lose all my deposit
It's easier to stay the same
Then to file a travel insurance claim
Screw it! Let's just stay together!
Breaking up is such a faff
I'm too much of an emotional coward
Breaking up is such a faff
Beside we just picked out a power-shower
And answer me this, please
What about all our DVDs?
'Cos, baby, I can't stand it if we have to fight
Over who owns the copy of The Dark Night
Oh look, two copies of Dodgeball... bonus!
Breaking up is such a faff
I just wish that I was dead
Breaking up is such a faff
If I act boring, maybe she'll leave instead
