I woke up this morning and I realised the date
Forgot about my presents cos there was something I had to say
To a very special person that makes every day worth living
Because Christmas is a special time for giving
Merry Christmas, Jack Howard
Would've asked for your number at that party but I was a coward
Merry Christmas, Jack Howard
Crap, nothing else rhymes with Jack Howard
For the videos in which you say things that make some people laugh
For the times I've touched myself thinking of you in the bath
And for all the shipping rumours that have made some people cry
I put your face in a snow globe once and it improved my life
Merry Christmas, Jack Howard
Well I dream of the day that you come and give me... flowers
Nothing rhymes with Jack Howard
And I hope that next year brings you lots of things you haven't seen
Merry Christmas, Jack Howard (and Dean)