koko ni kimi no namae o tsuketa
boku no “kimi” o hagukumou
itoshisa o koete
onore o takami ni… sore ga ima no
boku no seiipai
koko wa boku ga boku de irareru
daremo hitei wa sasenai
kasou no sekai de warai kakete kure
sore dake de ii kotoba wa iranai
mamori mamorareru futari datta
boku mo tomo ni soko ni itakatta
itami o boku ni wakete hoshikatta
nante imasara…
saigo no kaiwa no kimi no koe o
omoidasenai hodo totsuzen ni
kimi wa koko ja nai basho e mukatta
saigo kimi wa donna kao o shiteta…?
kimi wa kesshite konna boku o
nozomi wa shinai wakatteru
ushinau handou
nasakenai demo mada
chigirenai na chigirou tomo shinai
heya ni nokoru kimi no koe de
itsumo nakitaku narunda
nageki ni karada o yudanete kasou no kimi no miyako
tojikomotte itai…
nanimo gomakasanai futari datta
sasayaka o kiwameru hazu datta
omoide o kurikaeshi katarunda
akireru hodo ni
saigo no kaiwa no kimi no koe o
omoidasenai hodo totsuzen ni
kimi wa koko ja nai basho e mukatta
saigo kimi wa donna kao o shiteta…?
************************************************
I attached your name to this place,
bringing up my own picture of “you”.
Outpacing affection
and elevating oneself…That is the best
I can do right now.
This place allows me to be who I am.
I won’t let anyone annihilate it.
I would be content by just having you smile at me
in my imaginary world. I don’t need any words.
I protected you and you protected me.
You and me were both right there.
I longed to share your pain
and yet…
I can’t remember how you talked
during our last conversation, because
too suddenly I confronted a place without you.
What kind of face have you made in the end…?
I know that you would have never
wished for me to be like this.
Losing any backlash
is shameful, but yet
I’m not torn to pieces, and I’m not going to be.
Your voice lingering in my room
always makes me want to cry.
Devoting my body to grief, I want to lock myself
inside the capital of you in my imagination…
There was no need for us to falsify anything.
We were supposed to be choosing modesty.
I recite our memories over again
until they amaze me.
I can’t remember how you talked
during our last conversation, because
too suddenly I confronted a place without you.
What kind of face have you made in the end…?
