Long ago, before time began
Came the research and the marketing plan
And the award for the best toy of the year
Underneath every Christmas tree
Is a note saying ‘santa claus please
Don’t drink and drive when you leave here’
I love Christmas, every year
Like the kids having snowball fights
The networks brawl for the broadcast rights
Of the big blockbuster TV shows
And all the stores in the high street sell
Party hats and jingle bells
As the sales team chase their monthly goals
I love Christmas, every year
I’m queuing up for my tickets to see
Gary Glitter play on Christmas ever
In another Christmas comeback show
I never knew I was crucified
On the beer and a few mince pies
He’s gonna play some Christmas rock and roll