Bootcut Jeans, salmon shirt
I have a skin routine and my elbows hurt
I don't give blood because I won't give blood
Bought a tarantula from a Swedish guy
He helped me out in Stockholm with a DUI
And I stalk Ian Brown when he comes to town
I stole cocaine off my nephews friend
I did it with the fellas at the A.G.M
And Eleanor from A&R refused me again
So I did that thing at the Holiday Inn
My wife sells cheese on the Internet
I think about her sister when we're intimate
Her family and friends, they don't like me anymore
'Cause I threatened all her brothers with an antique sword
I'm your dad's best friend, your dad's best friend
We're taking him to Holland for the long weekend
He never had a stag, he never had a stag
We're taking…