Текст песни Frank Zappa - Chrissy Puked Twice

It was the darkest night
There was no moon in sight
You know the stars ain't shinin'
'Cause the sky's too tight
Heard the scarey wind
I seen the ugly trees
There was a werewolf honkin'
'Long the side of me

I'm mean 'n I'm bad, y'know I ain't no sissy
Got a big-titty girly by the name of Chrissy
Talkin' about her 'n my bike 'n me . . .
'N this ride up the Mountain of Mystery, mystery

It was 11 o'clock upon a Friday night,
You know the girl and me was feeling outta' sight
We had twenty reds and a big ol' pile of weed,
You know we drank some wine and then we LSD'd

Chrissy puked twice and jumped on my bike,
She yelled, "Fire it up, 'cause you know what I like!"
She burned her leg on a tail-pipe then
And yelled, "Shit-a-ree!", and puked again

I noticed even the crickets
Were actin' weird up here
'N so I said,
"Well, come on and let's drink a little beer"
I said, "Gimme summa that what yer suckin' on . . . "
But there was no reply
'Cause she was gone . . .

"Where's those titties I like so well, 'n my goddamn beer!"
Is what I started to yell, then I heard this noise
Like a crunchin' twig, 'n up jumped the Devil . . .
He's about this big . . .

He had a red suit on
An' a widow's peak
An' then a pointed tail
'N like a sulphur reek
Yes, it was him awright,
You know I knew it was
He had some human flesh
Stuck underneath his claws
You know, it looked to me
Like it was titty skin
I said, "You sonofabitch!"
'Cause I was mad at him,
He just got out his floss
'N started cleanin' his fang
So I shot him with my shooter,
Said: BANG BANG BANG

The sucker just laughed 'n said:

Terry:
Oh, put it away . . .
You know, I ate her all up . . . now what you gonna say?

FZ:
You ate my Chrissy?

Terry:
Yeah! Titties 'n all!

FZ:
Well, what about the beer then?

Terry:
Ah . . . Were the cans this tall?

FZ:
Even her boots?

Terry:
Now, would I lie to you?

FZ:
Shit, you musta been hungry!

Terry:
Yeah, this is true.

FZ:
Don't they pay you good
For the stuff you do?

Terry:
Well, you know
I can't complain when the checks come through . . .

FZ:
I want my Chrissy

Terry:
Yeah?

FZ:
I want my beer

Terry:
So what?

FZ:
You just puke it back up, boy
Do you hear?

Terry:
Blow it out your ass, motorcycle man!
I mean, I am the Devil,
Do you understand?
Just what will you give me for your
Titties and beer?
I suppose you noticed this little contract here . . .

FZ:
Yer goddam right, you
Son-of-a-whore

Terry:
Don't call me that!

FZ:
That's about the only reason I learned writin' for . . .
Gimme that paper . . . bet yer ass I'll sign . . .
Because I need a beer,
'N it's titty-squeezin' time!

Terry:
Man, you can't fool me . . . you ain't that bad . . .
I mean you shoulda seen some of the souls that I've had . . .

FZ:
Oh, yeah?

Terry:
There was Milhous Nixon 'n Agnew, too . . .
'N both of those suckers was worse 'n you . . .

FZ:
Well, let's make a deal if you think that's true
I mean, after all you're the Devil, now . . .
Whatcha gonna do? Come on!

Terry: What am I gonna do?
FZ: You can-- You can have my soul . . .
Terry: What?
FZ: It's a mean little sucker, 'bout a thousand years old . . .
Terry: You want me to take . . . ?
FZ: But once you gets it . . .
Terry: Oh, no.
FZ: You can't give it back . . .