SHOVEL KNIGHT!
HIS SPADE SHALL SMITE
AND HE WON'T TAKE ANYBODY'S SHITE!
NOT HE...
(TWO, THREE..)
LONG AGO, THERE LIVED A KNIGHT
WITH A LADY LOVE/OTHER KNIGHT
THEY ROAMED THE LAND (IT WAS GRAND)
TILL A FATEFUL DAY, THEY ROAMED ASTRAY,
AND HIS LADY LOVE WAS SEALED AWAY!
ALONE WAS HE...
OH, BUT THEN:
THE LAND WAS SEIZED BY A LEAGUE OF BAD KNIGHTS,
NAMELY THESE.
LED BY THS EVIL MISS
NOW AN EVIL LIGHT'S BEGUN TO SHINE BRIGHT,
SO STEEL THY SHOVEL AND FIGHT!
STRIKE THE EARTH RIGHT IN ITS BUTTHOLE!
TREASURES AWAIT! EXCAVATE!
YOU'RE GONNA DEFY THE LAWS OF SWORDS AND FISHING!
NEVER NEED BAIT, JUST SIT AND WAIT, REEL IN YOUR FATE!
WATCH FOR RATS, EXPLODING RATS, HELICOPTER RATS AND WIND-UP RATS
THERE'S LOTS OF RATS (PITTER PAT...)
YOU ALSO CAN TALK TO A SIX-FOOT COCK,
OR A KNIGHT RIGHT OUT OF BIOSHOCK!
THEN KICK HIS BUTT.
JOURNEY ON, AND SLEEP TILL DAWN,
HAVE A DREAM, AND WAKE UP WOEBEGONE
"OH SHOVELRY, WHERE IS SHE?"
WELL YOU'LL NEVER KNOW UNLESS YOU HEAVE-HO!
TO THE TOWER OF FATE YOU MUST GO!
GHOSTS ABOUND, SO POUND THEM WITH YOUR BALLS OF LIGHT!
(WHAT A SIGHT!)
YES, GO AND COMBINE THE GREATEST PARTS OF DUCKTALES,
AND MEGA MAN,
AND CASTLEVANIA, AND ZELDA II!
STEEL THY SHOVEL IT'S UP TO YOU!
