Текст песни что - такое хотеть умереть.я знаю.

I know what it is to want to die. When the smile causes bol.Ty want to be like everyone else, but you can not . You are causing yourself physical pain , trying to kill something in dushe.Kak I can recover, even if do not know what sick?

You explained it quite accurately a minute ago. I think you should set everything on paper . Throw it . Write about all this in his diary and keep it away . So that you could not use it to escape from reality .